Whose Goal is this Anyway?

Have you ever set a goal and not achieved it? For most of us the answer is a frustrating YES! Years ago when this would happen to me the next logical step after failing was to pick apart all the things I could have done differently or that I did wrong. Basically beat myself up over not reaching the goal. Then I embarked on a 2 year journey to become a life coach, and boy did I have my fair share of light bulb moments in that process! One of the things I quickly realized is that when I step back and look at my motivation behind some of those failed goals, it wasn’t coming from a place that was true to the core of who I am. They were things that I did because a friend was doing them, or because I felt it was something that I “should” be doing in my life. They weren’t things that I really wanted to do or to achieve. No wonder I didn’t succeed!

Stop setting the wrong goals! Take a look at your current goals and ask yourself, “why is this important to me?” Be honest with yourself, set a timer for 2 minutes and just keep talking about why it is important. Often times when we take a moment to ask this question not only do we become clearer on our motivations but the goal itself becomes more clear. A few years ago I had a personal training client who was struggling to lose 20 pounds. I did this exercise with her, asking her why that goal was important. As she talked about it things like “I want to feel better”, “I want to have more confidence”, “I want to feel sexier” started to come to the surface. So in that two minutes we were able to see that this goal of losing 20 pounds wasn’t just about losing the weight, there was much more going on. And once we were aware of this we started incorporating other things into her life that would help with those deeper motivations. She continued to be physically active and to eat healthy and she started buying clothes that made her feel sexy, she made an effort to stand taller when she walked and she become dedicated to getting enough sleep each night so she was rested the next day. All of things made her feel happier with herself and when she felt happier being physically active and eating healthy were much easier to do.

So, look at your goals and think about what they are really all about. When you do this you open up so many other doors that can move you in the direction of what you really want, instead of what you think you should want. And if at the end of the day if you do not reach a goal you set instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself why it wasn’t the right goal. Then you can re-group, get clearer on what the real goal is and go after it!

This posting was written for KP Athletic Wear (reprinted with permission from www.kpathleticwear.com)

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